Now that I check Facebook regularly after Lent, I see a lot of these
and I'm like "Yay equality for all!". But here's the problem. Supporters of the big red equal sign don't really care so much about equality as re-definition of marriage. That isn't to say they don't support equality, but the movement they are supporting really doesn't have anything to do with it. They want to extend the marriage license to include unions of homosexual persons. Good idea? I don't think so but I will discuss that later. First, is this an equality issue? The state has a definition and not all people fit it. This is true, but if not fitting a definition is a civil rights issue than we should hand out driver's licenses to blind people, gun permits to felons, and restaurant licenses to whoever feels themselves worthy of handling food. This is foolish, of course it isn't limitation itself that is unfair. Then what is? The claim is that there is something about marriage that is a right for any two persons to enter. Frankly I just don't see it. I don't see a marriage contract as any more of a fundamental right than a drivers license or a food permit. You have a right to it if and only if you can perform the task which it certifies you for. What is that? I will propose what I think it is later but first let us see what the supporters propose.Often I hear on campus the line "Marriage is about love right?" to which confusion results when I answer "No". Others who agree with the charge then hear the accusation "Then how can you deny people the right to love by restricting marriage to a certain kind of relationship?"
Question: Is love restricted to marriage? Certainly not! What is the number one reason people get married in the twenty first century? Because they are in love! So they already have have love before they get married! What then is marriage good for? Does that mean that that marriage is about love? No! A chef gets a food permit because he loves cooking and want to cook for others but that doesn't mean a food permit is about love of cooking and cooking for others. A food permit certifies that the holder can handle food responsibly and not get the public sick. Likewise it does not follow that the reason people get married has defining value on what a marriage is.
So why do we have marriage? Do we as a society care who loves who? So much so that we say "You two can love each other but you are not allowed to love anybody else!" After all both sides of the debate believe in marriage as exclusive. If somebody is married to one person they cannot be married to anybody else. So what then, are we not allowed to love others who we aren't married to? Clearly marriage is not about love or at the very least not exclusively about love.
So what is it then? Why does the state give out marriage licenses? What precisely is it a license for?
Sex? Clearly not in the strict sense. Sex is all too common outside of marriage and nobody is proposing the idea that the police go around arresting teenagers for practicing it without a license.
Is there any way it could still be about sex? Possibly. The state does offer tax benefits and other perks to those who are married. The state essentially pays people to be and to stay married. The state essentially pays a couple to... what? To have sex with each other and not with any others? Why do the taxpayers care about such a thing? Perhaps they care as a method for STD stagnation, but that can't possibly have been the original intent. Marriage laws pre-date our understanding of STD's. Even if we choose to ignore tradition and understand that marriage is a government program to combat STDs why does nobody propose STD testing before giving out the license? Clearly this isn't the good of marriage to which the state had in mind when it agreed to pay people a privileged status to marry and to stay married.
So what did it have in mind? Love? No we've seen that isn't it. Sex? No, that's not it either. Family? Ahh that may be it! Why would the state care about family? Because family is assumed to correlate with mental and economic health for the children. In other words, the state makes a contract with individuals to make and raise the states upcoming generation of kids for them.
That makes sense. It explains the call for marriage to be exclusive (less turbulent for the children), it explains the contractual nature of marriage (why marriage is a license) and explains why it is expected to be long term. Why else is it funny to follow the hilariously short "marriages" of pop stars? So now we have a working definition that makes sense, let us consider whether "gay marriage" is in any way a good idea. Two gays cannot both be the parents of a child but it is possible for one of the partners to be related to it. Never-the-less the pro-gay-marriage crowd does stress family.
So the question before us is: Is it good enough to provide a contract to a parent and a co-signer who is not a parent to raise the kids? (only one can physically be a parent to any children they raise). Is this arrangement better than single parenthood enough that they should also get privileged status from the government to raise the kids? I don't think the data is quite conclusive either way but a looming question remains.Where did they get the kids? Today we have a size-able number children that can't identify who their father is because people are not making good on their contracts to raise their children. So the question is this: Are children better off being raised by their biological parents and are children better off with both male and female parents or not? If so, then it is in the states best interest to keep marriage between a man and a woman because only such a couple can do what is expected of them. They are the only class (like the class of people with good vision applying for a driver's license) that can deliver the results expected in the marriage license. If what the "equality" supporters claim is true that it makes no difference who raises the child then the assumption of what makes marriage special that has been used throughout the nation's history minus recent years is wrong. The test? Is this offensive?
It sure isn't to me. Only one at maximum can actually be a parent. Let's say for argument that this is abhor-able. Perhaps it means that children do not benefit from both a father and mother for development such that any caretaker will do. Then the homosexual persons are right to demand equal benefits for raising children. There's another solution however that is more logical but largely ignored. If children do not benefit from having both a mother and a father such that stability of care-takers is all that matters, why have marriage at all? The old way of thought was that a father has something unique to give his children and a mother has something unique to give her children. If this is wrong, why does it take two to tango? Isn't one just as good? If the elements are interchangeable what's so special about the number? What exactly does a child see in his/her married care-takers that gives him/her an advantage over their peers from unmarried households?
The argument that the gender of the care-takers of children has no effect on the development of the child is just as strong an argument for the dissolution of marriage as it is for the extension of it to homosexual caretakers. If it is a false argument then a man and a woman is necessary to secure the emotional health and future economic stability of our children and we should reserve marriage licenses to those who can fulfill such roles. If it is true, then we might as well dissolve marriage as expand it.